Random thoughts...

"Good evening everyone" She started her speech in front of class 11 students of an International school, sitting quietly in their uniforms, "My name is Anvisha Singh, and I represent the Women's Right Association, which is an NGO with more than 50 offices across India, and more than 650 volunteers like me, working since years to fight for rights for women in our country."  She took a pause to see children's reaction. There was none. Though a couple of teachers sitting on the last bench, to maintain discipline were more than ears. "Today I am here to make you aware about the world outside" she went on, by adjusting her dupatta casually, and walking in small steps to her right and then left, with an intent to own the place "I am sorry to bring you the bad news, but the world outside is cruel. Male dominant. Lewd. And sadly, we are not taught to fight against it, or raise our voice for what is right. Today i am here to talk about safety of us an...

"Will you give me an honest answer if I ask you something?" She did not respond to my question in words. Instead, she looked straight into my eyes for a short while, as if she was preparing herself for a question. As I learnt she was ready for it, I asked her, very cautiously. "What is it like, being loved by me?" As I rightly expected, she wasn't ready for this at all. She calmly look away, and didn't say a word. Since past one hour we were sitting silently on this eroded sedimentary rock; our favorite spot on this beach. She was now looking at the horizon. Sky was gorgeously spoiled with a million shades of saffron emitted by the setting sun. Air between us was heavy, humid and salty. Gentle wind was blowing, playing with her curly hair, kissing repeatedly her cheeks. She took her time to respond, as I was having my share of anxiety inside my head. "Magic" again a momentary pause she took, to turn her head and look at me. "Being loved by you...

"It's not working out" The most dreadful words to utter ever; she never thought of saying it to him. Never even thought of saying this to her own self. Though she thought of it many times; almost every day, since over a year. But never had courage to think beyond the point, where she would burst into tears and cry herself to sleep. Days were just passing in hope; either hoping to get him love her even for once, or hoping to magically gain a strength to endure the enormous pain. But she knew there was no hope after all; or at least she had convinced herself that there was none. Complaining, demanding, or wishing for what's rightfully hers; she never knew what those things are. Appallingly, she was trained to be fitting in the cultural imbalance, set up by so called respected society, where asking for her rights was taboo, suffering silently was considered respectful and second chances were condemnable offense. That's why she was afraid. And weak. Afraid of going ag...

"Punish me." she cried. There was a brief history behind her request. Brief. And unimportant. But the consequences were intriguing, and provoking actions. Just one small stone in the still water, and it caused ripples, magnifying and spreading. And after that, nothing was still. A chaos. She felt. She felt something went wrong but she couldn't find out that from him. As there was no reaction. She wanted one, badly. She convinced herself she was the reason behind the  chaos . The guilt was eating her. She asked for one reaction, just one. She didn't get any. She wanted one; a corrective action, a punishment, which would overcome her guilt. So that she can forgive herself. So that she can live on. So that she make absolutely sure that the damage, if there was any, is well taken care of. That's all she wanted - Balance, stillness, her own inner peace. Or just a debt, which she wants to pay off so that she owes him nothing. Was this selfish of her...? "Punish me....

He walked. Through unknown streets. Down the roads. Across lush green meadows. Passing through gardens of blooming flowers of vivid colors. Into the wild. Through deserts. On days with scorching sun. In the moonless dark nights. He was relentless. He walked. Walked till every single bone of his body hurt. Till he could feel every muscle in his body tear apart. He did not wish to stop. He was following his wandering mind. His mind was searching something. He wasn't just blood and flesh, someone who wanted to perfect his existence, or at least wanted to reach to the most humanly possible level of perfection, where he could know the meaning of life, the meaning of death, understand dark passageways between death and the next life. He believed, rather firmly, that he will find the answers if he seeks. He chose this path, an endless route searching for what was worth sought for. He had this hunger, for truth. Surreal but magnificent. He had already surrendered himself to his hunger lo...

ઘર ની શેરી એ થી બહાર નીકળતા જ જાણે નવી દુનિયા આવી જતી .  આ ખડકી ના સિવાય   શહેર નો ભાગ્યે જ કોઈ ખૂણો આ કોન્ક્રીટ જંગલ ની ચુન્ગાલ માંથી આમ   આબાદ રીતે છટકી ગયો હશે . દાયકાઓ સાથે શહેર ના રંગ રૂપ બદલાતા ગયા , પણ આ ખડકી કાળ ની એ થપાટો જીરવી ગયી - જાણે કોઈ શૂરવીર યોદ્ધો ચારે બાજુ થી ઘેરાવા છતાં અડીખમ ઉભો રહી લડતો રહે ! એક રીતે જોતાં શહેર નો અતુલ્ય   વારસો અને રાજવી ઈતિહાસ નો આ એક જ પુરાવો બચ્યો હતો . ખડકી માં   ગણતરી ના 12-15 ઘર હશે ,  પણ બધાયે એક થી એક ચડિયાતા . સ્થાપત્યકળા ના અભ્યાસુઓ અવારનવાર આવતા . ક્યારેક વિદેશી પર્યટકો પણ આવી જતા અને જાત ભાત ના સ્કેચ બનાવી જતા . સ્કૂલ માં જતો થયો ત્યાં સુધી તો આ બધા ની આદત પડી ગયી હતી . દાદાજી ના આગ્રહ થી મારા પપ્પા લગ્ન પછી   શહેર ના નવા ઘર માં શિફ્ટ નો ' તા થયા . હું બે પગે   ચાલતા શીખેલો ત્યારે જ દાદાજી દુનિયા છોડી ને ચાલી નીકળ્યા . એમના પછી પપ્પા ને પણ શહેર માં જ...