The Unknown
"It's not working out"
The most dreadful words to utter ever; she never thought of saying it to him. Never even thought of saying this to her own self. Though she thought of it many times; almost every day, since over a year. But never had courage to think beyond the point, where she would burst into tears and cry herself to sleep. Days were just passing in hope; either hoping to get him love her even for once, or hoping to magically gain a strength to endure the enormous pain. But she knew there was no hope after all; or at least she had convinced herself that there was none. Complaining, demanding, or wishing for what's rightfully hers; she never knew what those things are. Appallingly, she was trained to be fitting in the cultural imbalance, set up by so called respected society, where asking for her rights was taboo, suffering silently was considered respectful and second chances were condemnable offense. That's why she was afraid. And weak. Afraid of going against the flow. Afraid of putting her needs against everyone else's. Afraid of breaking the invisible shackles and barriers of the society, and run free. Afraid of taking even a single step towards what's rightfully hers, but seldom had spoken of; her freedom. And the biggest fear was of facing the unknown. If not him, then whom? If not this life, then which? Always felt a chill in her spine, while thinking about departing ways. She thought, it would be like falling into an abyss of darkness, and only love would work against gravity, n pull out. There was none. She was not ready to take the fall, without any promise of someone, or something being there to break the fall. It would be suicidal. It takes a lot of courage, to accept love for someone. But, it takes a lot of strength, to confess to that 'someone' the absence of it; a really mighty heart.
And until now, she did not have one. Until now.
What had gotten into her? What gave her the strength? Who gave her the promise to pull her up, when she decided to take the fall? Had she become too intolerant, that she decided to overlook possible outcomes or the chain of events of her action? Was she in love with someone? What really had gotten into her? How could she do it? That's unknown.
And the outcome? The reaction? The response of him? Well, it did not matter. Simply because she chose the path of breaking free; for once, she stood for herself. And for her own good. After all, confessing this to him was the hardest part. And she survived that. After that, everything was irrelevant, till the point when she refused to fall. The moment she buckles in, every strand of strength she had gathered, would break, and she would be again the part of a vicious cycle of life. What's it going to be? How it's gonna end?
Take a moment. Think. How would you like to end this ? How would you prefer her path of life to be like? How you would prefer YOUR path of life to be like?
You choose. That's how it's gonna be. Exactly that.
- Asthir Amdavadi
The most dreadful words to utter ever; she never thought of saying it to him. Never even thought of saying this to her own self. Though she thought of it many times; almost every day, since over a year. But never had courage to think beyond the point, where she would burst into tears and cry herself to sleep. Days were just passing in hope; either hoping to get him love her even for once, or hoping to magically gain a strength to endure the enormous pain. But she knew there was no hope after all; or at least she had convinced herself that there was none. Complaining, demanding, or wishing for what's rightfully hers; she never knew what those things are. Appallingly, she was trained to be fitting in the cultural imbalance, set up by so called respected society, where asking for her rights was taboo, suffering silently was considered respectful and second chances were condemnable offense. That's why she was afraid. And weak. Afraid of going against the flow. Afraid of putting her needs against everyone else's. Afraid of breaking the invisible shackles and barriers of the society, and run free. Afraid of taking even a single step towards what's rightfully hers, but seldom had spoken of; her freedom. And the biggest fear was of facing the unknown. If not him, then whom? If not this life, then which? Always felt a chill in her spine, while thinking about departing ways. She thought, it would be like falling into an abyss of darkness, and only love would work against gravity, n pull out. There was none. She was not ready to take the fall, without any promise of someone, or something being there to break the fall. It would be suicidal. It takes a lot of courage, to accept love for someone. But, it takes a lot of strength, to confess to that 'someone' the absence of it; a really mighty heart.
And until now, she did not have one. Until now.
What had gotten into her? What gave her the strength? Who gave her the promise to pull her up, when she decided to take the fall? Had she become too intolerant, that she decided to overlook possible outcomes or the chain of events of her action? Was she in love with someone? What really had gotten into her? How could she do it? That's unknown.
And the outcome? The reaction? The response of him? Well, it did not matter. Simply because she chose the path of breaking free; for once, she stood for herself. And for her own good. After all, confessing this to him was the hardest part. And she survived that. After that, everything was irrelevant, till the point when she refused to fall. The moment she buckles in, every strand of strength she had gathered, would break, and she would be again the part of a vicious cycle of life. What's it going to be? How it's gonna end?
Take a moment. Think. How would you like to end this ? How would you prefer her path of life to be like? How you would prefer YOUR path of life to be like?
You choose. That's how it's gonna be. Exactly that.
- Asthir Amdavadi
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