Random thoughts...

"Will you give me an honest answer if I ask you something?" She did not respond to my question in words. Instead, she looked straight into my eyes for a short while, as if she was preparing herself for a question. As I learnt she was ready for it, I asked her, very cautiously. "What is it like, being loved by me?" As I rightly expected, she wasn't ready for this at all. She calmly look away, and didn't say a word. Since past one hour we were sitting silently on this eroded sedimentary rock; our favorite spot on this beach. She was now looking at the horizon. Sky was gorgeously spoiled with a million shades of saffron emitted by the setting sun. Air between us was heavy, humid and salty. Gentle wind was blowing, playing with her curly hair, kissing repeatedly her cheeks. She took her time to respond, as I was having my share of anxiety inside my head. "Magic" again a momentary pause she took, to turn her head and look at me. "Being loved by you...

"It's not working out" The most dreadful words to utter ever; she never thought of saying it to him. Never even thought of saying this to her own self. Though she thought of it many times; almost every day, since over a year. But never had courage to think beyond the point, where she would burst into tears and cry herself to sleep. Days were just passing in hope; either hoping to get him love her even for once, or hoping to magically gain a strength to endure the enormous pain. But she knew there was no hope after all; or at least she had convinced herself that there was none. Complaining, demanding, or wishing for what's rightfully hers; she never knew what those things are. Appallingly, she was trained to be fitting in the cultural imbalance, set up by so called respected society, where asking for her rights was taboo, suffering silently was considered respectful and second chances were condemnable offense. That's why she was afraid. And weak. Afraid of going ag...